


Season

by introvertedriri



Series: adventure calling emotions [10]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Wowson - Freeform, an attempt to write fluff, emphasis on the word 'attempt', inspired by keyakizaka46's futari saison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:18:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/introvertedriri/pseuds/introvertedriri
Summary: Love in the Spring and Summer. Farewell in the Autumn and Winter. The seasons that we've spent together, do you not regret them?





	Season

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this three times since yesterday and this is probably lame. sorry for that. :<

Sehyoon saw byeongkwan from the other side of the train, as usual, the male looks so breathtakingly gorgeous while looking at the view from outside. Despite the lack of space in the train, Sehyoon can still see Byeongkwan from where he is. He can always see him and he thinks that it’s funny, that when he wanted Byeongkwan to be happy and to finally let go, they’ll be near each other without even the other one noticing. Fate is such a prankster while life’s a bitch.

As he went out of the train, he silently followed Byeongkwan which was focused on looking at his phone. He wished that Byeongkwan would pay more attention to the surroundings, he felt the urge to approach him and flicker his forehead, scolding the younger male to pay attention.

They kept on walking, Byeongkwan still focused on his phone while Sehyoon watched him from afar, keeping a distance between the two of them. It’s been like this for months and Sehyoon wanted to laugh, he wants to move on but he wants to make sure that Byeongkwan will be alright. Guess that this is one of the things that love can do to someone.

“Byeongkwan, what am I going to do with you?” Sehyoon asked, smiling a bit and sighing, worried about the young male’s well-being.

≥≥≥≥≥

The two met during the first day of spring, both being late on their dance class and sprinting with all their strength to get on their classroom as soon as possible, not caring about anyone and probably bumping with the other students. But as they were near at the door, they didn’t noticed that the other boy is on the other side running and they bumped into each other, both falling on the ground because of the impact. Sehyoon heard a curse in English from the younger male while he just groaned and stood up before helping him, they apologized to each other before entering the class to only realize that there weren’t any class during that day, that their instructor already messaged his students that he won’t be able to attend. Both of them felt so stupid, they looked at the empty room with dumbfounded expressions.

Sehyoon wore his earphones and immediately went out of the room, not caring about anyone else again, walking at the hallways filled with people. Interacting with everyone is too troublesome so he kept his head down and pretended not to hear anything, wearing the earphones is a helpful thing, making everyone think that he isn’t paying attention and will leave him alone when the truth is that he wears them but he doesn’t play any music from his mp3. He just wanted to block them from his life, he’s fine with not having anyone to lean on, he’s fine on being an independent person.

But he swore that he heard someone calling him yet he was too immorsed on his own thoughts until his walking came to a halt when he felt someone took his earphones off, his eyes widened as he looked at the one who did that. He saw the younger male that bumped into him, saying a bunch of stuff but Sehyoon was still surprised that he wasn’t able to understand everything so with a slight tilt of his head, he asked ‘What did you say now?’ and the younger male took a deep breath before introducing himself as Byeongkwan and that he wants to hang out with him until his next class starts, which is in two hours. He explained that he's Sehyoon's classmate in most of his class and that he wants to spend some time with him since he doesn’t want to be alone. Sehyoon wanted to say no but he doesn’t even know why he just nodded and made the younger male smile, it was weird. Sehyoon felt weird. 

For the first time, he felt his heart throbbing. He ignored the feeling, convincing himself that he's just sick.

Byeongkwan seems to stick himself to Sehyoon ever since that day, making sure that Sehyoon is alright and not lonely. He even introduced some of his friends to the black-haired male and Sehyoon doesn’t know why but he just let him do it, Byeongkwan has this weird influence on him and Sehyoon wanted to run away from him but there’s something that making him stay. It’s probably Byeongkwan’s smiles and laugh, he felt weird whenever he sees and hear it, making him a bit elated. It’s really weird for someone like him to feel like this, he was used to solitude and peace. He made an invisible barrier for himself because he dislike interactions but Byeongkwan took him out of it, he started to soften his heart for the male.

It’s just that like the cherry blossoms around them during spring, Byeongkwan is so breathtakingly pretty as well as his personality, no wonder that a person like him obtains a wide social circle. He likes Byeongkwan’s eyes the most, how round and pretty they were, how they shined and sparkled with life. Two days before spring finally ends, both of them are walking on their way to the train subway but Byeongkwan insisted to pass by the park filled with cherry blossoms and Sehyoon thought that it was beautiful. He didn’t expect Byeongkwan to brush their fingers while walking until he suddenly intertwined their hands, Sehyoon looked at Byeongkwan with a confused expression but the younger male just smiled at him. He’s weak against Byeongkwan’s smiles and finds himself smiling back to him while trying to ignore the butterflies on his stomach and how his heart kept on pounding. 

»»»»»»»»»»

Spring has come to an end and it’s already summer, Sehyoon wondered if he’s finally feeling something weird for his blond friend. He wanted to confirm these weird sensations that he kept on feeling for him but was too scared to admit it and ask the blond male instead. But he noticed how clingy Byeongkwan is whenever he’s with him, holding hands has been a normal thing to them but there are times that Byeongkwan will suddenly kiss him on the cheek, making him really flustered. He wondered if Byeongkwan is also like that to his other friends but the thought made his heart drop, feeling a bit sad and probably jealous.

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster that Sehyoon dislikes, he dislikes how it made him feel a bit mad when Byeongkwan is with someone else, how it made him to be hurt when Byeongkwan isn’t paying attention to him and how it wants him to be selfish. But Sehyoon knew better, he didn’t let it consume him yet jealousy made him realize something. How he changed because of Byeongkwan, how the whole world changed because of the shorter male with a big heart. He realized what he felt for him.

He’s in love with Kim Byeongkwan, one of his classmates and the one that introduced the world’s wonderful side to him. So he decided that he’ll confess, he doesn’t want to hide it any longer and he wants to move on, in case, that Byeongkwan doesn’t like him the same way. Sehyoon dislikes pain. That is why he chose to stay away from any kind of affection.

During one sunny day, a few days before summer ended, he confessed to Kim Byeongkwan in the middle of the park where the younger male brought him a few months ago. With a bouquet filled with red roses and a box of chocolates, in which his sister, Eunsuh recommended to him, he stopped on his tracks that made Byeongkwan turn around to face him. And he told him everything that he felt for him while looking at the ground, he felt so embarassed and inexperienced. He heard that Byeongkwan has been in a relationship before unlike him, someone who doesn’t even like to interact with other people.

“Sehyoon, look at me.” With the last bits of his confidence, he looked at Byeongkwan and was surprised to see him smiling at him.

“Why?” he asks, eyes showing confusion on the blond male’s smile.

“It took you long enough, Sehyoonie.” Byeongkwan said before giggling and Sehyoon saw the pink tint dusting his cheeks “Seriously, Sehyoon hyung. I thought that I might be the one to confess to you. I never really thought that you’ll have the guts to confess, let alone, in a public place.”

“I d-did this for you! It’s because I love you!” Sehyoon blurted out, his whole face turning red because of the embarassment that he’s feeling.

It caught Byeongkwan off-guard before laughing in all of the sudden “Hyung, you’re so weird.”

Weird. It made Sehyoon flinch and drooped his head down, he was called a weirdo by a lot of people and he knew that being called one isn’t a good thing “I k-know. If you don’t like me, please tell me already. I’m sorry for being weird, Kwan.”

“Don’t like you? Seriously! Have some courage!” He didn’t expect Byeongkwan’s next move, he held both of Sehyoon’s cheeks before leaning in for a short kiss “Are you even listening to me? I told you that if you weren’t planning to confess soon, I’ll be the one to pull you closer, I’ll be the one to confess. I love you too, Sehyoon hyung.”

Sehyoon always thought that having his first kiss is just like those romantic scenes on dramas, where everything suddenly becomes slow and bright as a love song can be heard, but it was just a fast one yet he felt like his heart bursted into bits because of the sudden lock of lips. Byeongkwan kept on talking about how he loves Sehyoon and how he wants to talk to him so when they bumped into each other, Byeongkwan took the opportunity to talk to him and realized how precious Sehyoon is. He vowed to himself that he’ll be there for him an he ended up loving him more, definitely feeling like he’s the happiest whenever he’s with Sehyoon. And they laughed, they can understand each other.

Their love blazed like the sun during Summer, the season where the sun shines the most. Starting from the simple brushing of the back of their hands until they intertwine their hands, wishing that moments like this would last.

»»»»»»»»»»

Autumn came immediately, it was definitely one of Sehyoon’s favorite season. Autumn is such a melancholic season, throughout the season, he could see how the plants wilted, from green leaves to brown until it falls down the ground. But unlike the season itself, his love for Byeongkwan never faded. And he knows that Byeongkwan loves him back, he knew that and he’s certain of it.

He would hang out with Byeongkwan on a cafe while looking outside, seeing how people come and go, how they kept on passing by and what are their expressions. Kids were eager to see the first day of Winter, anticipating the snowflakes and snow itself. He wished that he could become a kid again, become a kid that isn’t tainted by the cruel world, a kid that isn’t aware how ugly this world is. But everyone needs to grow up and he realized that despite the world being an ugly one, there’s still a lot of wonderful things in it. For example, this blond male in front of him, talking about his partners on one of his projects being a bunch of dorks.

And he’s eager to listen to all of it, he wants to know what happens to this angel’s life and what he thinks about this world. Because despite Sehyoon disliking it, there’s a part of him that likes it and nowadays, he’s starting to appreciate it. He chuckles when he saw the ice cream on the corner of Byeongkwan’s lips as he leaned and kissed the younger male to remove it, making him jump in surprise.

“What was that for?” Byeongkwan asked, eyes widening.

“You got some ice cream on the corner of your lips and I just want to taste it,” Sehyoon answered, smiling a bit at the younger male.

Byeongkwan playfully glared at him and hits his shoulder lightly “You’re getting a bit more confident now, hyung. Just admit it, you just want to kiss me.”

“And what will you do if I say yes?” Sehyoon asked, raising an eyebrow as his smile became wider.

Byeongkwan felt his face heating up and averted his gaze on the black-haired male “You’re teasing me.”

“Sorry, Kwan. It’s just that you’re too cute,” Sehyoon admits before ruffling the blond’s fluffy hair.

“I know that I'm cute!” Byeongkwan chirps, making both of them laugh.

He started to appreciate this world and it’s all because of the one that dragged him out of his monochrome world, painting it with bright colors. Everything has changed ever since Byeongkwan invaded his safety zone, making him a stronger person as he faced the real world without avoiding interactions. 

He spent a lot of time with Byeongkwan, enjoying his company, the baked goods, hot chocolates and the warm hugs. He saw how life started to slip away from the plants around them, it somehow amused him. How it felt bittersweet during this season but their love wouldn’t be like this, right? 

Yet life seems to hate Sehyoon and his pessimistic self when Byeongkwan suddenly met someone that made him feel the same sensations that he felt for Sehyoon. Sehyoon isn’t unaware of how Byeongkwan changed, how the shared kiss doesn’t have the same effect on him, how Byeongkwan would sudenly shudder when they embrace, how Byeongkwan would turn his back on him when he thought that Sehyoon was asleep yet the black-haired isn’t and how Byeongkwan doesn’t smile like the usual whenever he’s with him. 

It made Sehyoon feel a bit sick and nauseous yet he still kept on loving Byeongkwan, loving him to the extent that he ignores the obvious signs just to stay with him for a bit longer. Just for a while, he’ll stay with him. He’ll let himself be selfish.

Now, this season seems to mock Sehyoon. Yet he didn’t dislike it, he even start to accept the cruel fate. That just like the wilted plants and brown leaves falling to the ground, Byeongkwan fell out of love and their relationship is on the verge of wilting. And all that Sehyoon can do is to accept it, besides, it’s been a fun relationship. And he’s thankful of Byeongkwan, he really is.

»»»»»»»»»»

Winter. It was really cold outside yet their relationship seems to be colder than the weather, Sehyoon can feel Byeongkwan slipping out of their relationship. Daily calls and texts turned into weekly ones until there are barely even messages and calls from the blond male, it worries him but at the same time, it makes him feel in ease. That probably Byeongkwan is happy with someone else, not with someone as bland and boring just like him.

There are times that he would feel insecure and how he felt so worthless to be left alone like that, to be left hanging on a relationship that is barely even there, to keep on having a grip on it despite getting hurt.

He wondered during the cold nights that he was alone if Byeongkwan is embraced by someone else, protecting him from the cold and giving him enough warmth. He wondered if Byeongkwan is smiling and if he’s alright, call him selfless or an idiot, but he’s really worried about him. More than he should be worried for himself. But what is the point of worrying about himself when there’s no reason for him to be worried for himself?

As the days kept on passing, it gets colder until Sehyoon is ready, ready to let go of Byeongkwan. Ready to sacrifice his own happiness for Byeongkwan’s. He called the blond male’s number, it took Byeongkwan a while as if he’s hesitating and Sehyoon didn’t even wasted a single second to invite him on the park where he confessed at 9PM and after hearing Byeongkwan’s approval,  he ended the call. Sehyoon let the phone fall from his phone as he hugged a pillow really tight, crying silently as he prepare himself for what’s about to happen tonight. But he knows that no matter how he tries to prepare for the worst case scenario, he’ll still cry. But it’s for the better sake of everyone, he have to let go. Because Byeongkwan isn’t letting go until now, he can still feel the grip on his wrist of something.

 

Just as he expected, Byeongkwan arrived a few minutes late. He saw him wearing a coat two times larger for his size, Sehyoon wondered if the guy that replaced him is the owner of that coat. Byeongkwan looks to adorable and he noticed how he dyed his hair into grey, smiling a bit. Byeongkwan is still as gorgeous as he is, he couldn’t take his eyes off him.

 

“Hello, Byeongkwan.” he greeted the younger male.

Byeongkwan nodded, avoiding his gaze “Hi, Sehyoon.”

“Well, I won’t be wasting any second. I don’t want you to get cold so I’m saying this to end everything,” Sehyoon said as he took a deep breath, “I’m letting you go, Byeongkwan.”

“What?” Byeongkwan seems to be surprised on how calm Sehyoon is.

“I’m sorry for binding you with someone as dull as me, you probably felt happy with someone else, right?” Sehyoo  asked as he forced a smile as he stared at the younger male.

Guilt. That is all that Byeongkwan can feel as he gathered enough courage to look at Sehyoon, seeing how he broke the boy that kept on smiling for him “Hyung, I’m sorry..”

“It's alright, Kwan. But you should’ve told me earlier, you left me hanging.” Sehyoon said as he chuckled, trying not to sound so hurt.

“I don’t want to hurt you, hyung. But I loved you. I really did. It’s just that I suddenly fell for him, I didn’t expect it at all. I’m really sorry, Sehyoon hyung. I really don’t want to you to be hurt so I thought—”

“So you thought that hiding it would not make me worry and hurt? Byeongkwan, it hurts. Don’t leave me hanging like that, if you don’t love me just like before then you should have told me. I’m not that selfish to keep you to myself, Kwan. I thought that you knew me better than myself,” Sehyoon said as he still kept the forced smile on his face, he was hurt and he never felt this kind of urge to cry but kept his composure.

“I know, hyung. I’m really sorry,” Byeongkwan said as he looked down, tears falling from his eyes. He couldn’t look at Sehyoon anymore, he can sense how broken he is and it’s all because of him “You deserve something better than me, someone that wouldn’t look at anyone else, someone that would love you and someone that wouldn’t leave you hanging.”

“And you deserve someone better than me, though I knew the fact that everyone is way better than me, a bland and boring person.” Sehyoon said as he tapped Byeongkwan’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, Kwan. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself for not being enough. But I can understand how you want to be happy and thank you for coming, I really wanted to talk to you. To clear things out.”

“You’re not mad?” Byeongkwan suddenly became pale before glaring at Sehyoon, “You should be mad at me, hyung! I hurt you! Left you for almost two months because I was in my hometown and enjoying the presence of the man that I like, courting me and loving me like I’m his only one while you’re all alone, probably waiting for me. You have all the rights to mad at me! Heck, you can even punch me and it isn’t enough!”

“Well, I won’t.” Sehyoon said as he laugh, thinking that Byeongkwan is being emotional “And thank you for your concern. I just don’t want you to be mad at me and I really can’t get mad at you, you saved me from my own hell and you think that I’ll hate you?”

“You’re too nice..” Byeongkwan whispered out, clenching his fists.

“No, I’m being realistic. Life isn’t all about happiness, warmth and bright colors and you, of all people, should be aware that I’ve been on the opposite side of life for a long time.” Sehyoon said as he looked at the skies, “I hated this world, I hated living and I hated everyone but you dragged me out of those thoughts, you showed me a lot of wonderful things, you showed me how beautiful it is to live and there’s a lot of reasons why I couldn’t hate you. Because of you, I have lived a good life.”

“If it wasn’t because of me, you could’ve been hanging out and enjoying your life more. But no..” Byeongkwan couldn’t take it anymore as he started to sob “I took it away from you, hyung. It’s all because of me.. you should've been alive if it wasn’t for me!”

 

Sehyoon can’t help but let out a shaky sigh because just as he expected, Byeongkwan will definitely cry because of that. It also took him a week or two to accept that he’s no longer human, just a tiny spect of life force that is restless because of his sudden demise. But he wants Byeongkwan to let go and to be happy, because just like the season, their relationship is already like Winter. Both of them deserves their Spring once again, to see each other’s smiles.

 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Sehyoon said as he closed his eyes, “It was never your fault, Byeongkwan. No one even dares to blame you about that because you didn’t caused my death.”

“If I was just loyal to our relationship and to you, you’re not like that. You’re not a restless spirit, even though you’re dead, your priority is still my well-being.” Byeongkwan stated as he tried to wipe his tears but more of them kept on falling, “You can’t even be in peace because of me, Sehyoon hyung! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry about everything!”

 

 

Sehyoon wanted to embrace him but he’s afraid of what might happen next, knowing that he doesn’t have any physical body and that he’s just a spirit waiting for Byeongkwan to finally move on. He suddenly remembered the night when it all happened, on the eleventh day of Winter, he decided to follow Byeongkwan. He wanted to know what’s happening on the younge male yet he didn’t expect him to meet the man that he kept on talking about to him, Byeongkwan looks so happy and smiled the same smile that he used to flash during the time that he’s in love with Sehyoon. 

 

Sehyoon felt his heart broke when the man kissed Byeongkwan on his forehead and the younger male giggled, both of them looked so happy that he felt like shit. That he’s preventing Byeongkwan to be happy and locking him in a toxic relationship like their’s. He felt so bad and felt worse when his eyes met Byeongkwan’s eyes, he felt scared in all of the sudden as guilt was immediately registered on the younger male’s face. He couldn’t take it, restricting Byeongkwan’s happiness so he ran. He can hear Byeongkwan calling his name but he just kept on running away, didn’t expect a large truck to hit him in a few seconds, didn’t even noticed it as the only thing that is in his mind is to run. The last thing that he saw is Byeongkwan’s face before everything went black.

 

And when Sehyoon woke up in the middle of the road, he immediately realized that he was dead yet he couldn’t leave. Seeing Byeongkwan’s devastated look made him stay and wait for the right time to face him, waited alone and gave Byeongkwan the space that he needed before calling the younger male, in which, he is also surprised. Maybe it’s because of his wish to talk to him that he was able to use his phone again.

 

 

“Please forget about me, Kwan. Stop blaming yourself, it’s been two months. Be happy for me, that is the only thing that you can do for me,” Sehyoon said before he smiled, “I really want to see the cherry blossoms to bloom at Spring with you, Byeongkwan.”

“What?” Byeongkwan looked at Sehyoon which seems to be in a calm mood, he can sense that Sehyoon wants to be alright again and that he’s just worried about Byeongkwan.

“My last request before I.. go, I think ‘go’ is an appropriate word to use? But seriously, I want to see them bloom with you. And then, let go of your guilt.” Sehyoon said and looked at Byeongkwan, “Momentary lights overlap and those occasional colors create the four seasons. I’m aware how our relationship can be compared to Winter but I want you to experience Spring, to fall in love and be happy. Please let go of your guilt because I’m also letting you go properly, we deserve a decent break-up, don’t you think? I want you to be happy for the both of us, Byeongkwan.”

Byeongkwan looked down as he tried to understand why Sehyoon wanted to see the cherry blossoms again and he nodded, “Alright.”

“Then see you at this park at the first day of Spring.” Sehyoon said, feeling a bit relieved before smiling once again, “Thank you, Byeongkwan.”

 

 

Just like the plants that wilted, Sehyoon slipped out of his own life too. But he isn’t even regretting his actions, he understand Byeongkwan and he just wants him to be okay again. He can’t wait for Winter to end, he wants to see Spring as soon as possible.

 

»»»»»»»»»»

 

He kept on following Byeongkwan from a distance until he stopped on a certain spot, the same spot where he confessed to Byeongkwan last year. It suddenly felt so nostalgic that Sehyoon laughs a bit, he suddenly felt elated. He looked at Byeongkwan that took his earphones off and hid his phone on the pocket of his jeans, admiring the cherry blossoms that bloomed recently before smiling.

 

 

“I never understood what you said about seeing them, Sehyoon.” he whispered out before chuckling “But now, I do.”

Sehyoon can feel himself getting more transparent and he looked at his hands as he understood what is about to happen and laughs again, “It took you long enough.”

Byeongkwan’s eyes were still focused on the cherry blossoms “You want me to see a new beginning, hyung. You want me to let go of you so I can live a new one, also for you.”

“By the sun’s return, you will surely find someone  
special. I believe that it will happen,” Sehyoon said as he walked closer to Byeongkwan but still kept a few centimeters distance between them “It’s a waste to overlook it. Do not reject love, Byeongkwan.”

Byeongkwan suddenly felt a presence near him and as he looked beside him, he saw Sehyoon. His eyes sparkled once again, surprised to see him again and felt like crying “Sehyoon hyung.”

“Aren’t they pretty?” Sehyoon asked as he looked up, “To live is to keep on changing and I’m at ease now, I know that you’ll be happy and it makes me feel so relieved.”

“Still as selfless as you are,” Byeongkwan muttered before sighing.

“Are you ready to let go of me?” Sehyoon asked, tilting his head a bit.

Byeongkwan took a deep breath before nodding, “Yes.”

“That’s a relief,” Sehyoon stated and Byeongkwan can already see how Sehyoon looks so happy “Thank you.”

 

 

Byeongkwan nods as he looked at Sehyoon for the last time before smiling, he’s ready to let go of the past and to love again. And for Sehyoon, memories kept on appearing in front of him just like the calendar before a lot of cherry blossom fell as the wind blows them away. And in a split second, Sehyoon disappears, being taken by the cherry blossoms somehwere, somewhere that would never return again.

 

Because just like the seasons, he, himself, is a season. One that lives and pass but it can’t be helped, right? It’s always like this.

**Author's Note:**

> it was supposed to be fluff. :< i really can't write stories that is fluffy and happy :<
> 
> 1st end: Byeongkwan and Sehyoon being happy w each other, not minding how the season pass because what matters the most is that they love each other
> 
> 2nd: sehyoon suddenly dies and he's waiting for kwan to move on.
> 
> 3rd: kwan cheated on him so he's waiting for the right time to move on and meets junhee on the first day of spring, letting go of kwan and alsohoping for a new beginning
> 
> 4th and final attempt: mixed the second and third ending that i wrote, except the part where sehyoon meets junhee because i'm a douche : (


End file.
